Daily post

Today marks 64 days of sobriety.  What a beautiful cool sunny day it was here in Cedar Rapids, yet I couldn't be more tired from running around—literally. I'll explain later in this post. Until sobriety, I haven't realized just how busy, unpredictable, and chaotic life can be without me numbing myself stupid with alcohol and other substances. Perhaps because it all boils down to the wreckage of my past.  I started up my drinking career again after losing three years of AA sobriety in 1990, a young man at the age of twenty-one. I should have never listened to my dumbass brother convince me to have a brat and beer at an SF Giants game.  I did have that first drink and off the water wagon I went! Now in the present moment that seems like so long ago, yet thirty years have gone by so quickly.

Thirty years of drinking, isolation, anti-social behavior, few friends (actually only one true lifelong friend), family troubles, deaths in the family, job failures, career failures, higher education failures, trouble with the law, going to jail in three states (time goes by so slow locked up), trouble in relationships with women, getting a woman pregnant, losing custody, child custody battles, child support, missing out on special moments such as my child's baptism, losing contact with my daughter who is now twenty-seven years old, and we just reestablished contact after no contact whatsoever for twelve years, loss of two of my own small businesses. These were promising money-making businesses yet down the drain they went. Continuing onwards; bad credit, not paying my bills, moving from state to state, failure after failure, a loser at life. Where did thirty years go? Down the proverbial shitter, that's where the years went...

Now back to the present.  Just for today, I would like to thank the a**hole who stole my mountain bike. Didn't expect that did you! To add insult to injury, this crack head even left me a beat-up girl's bike. So today, I had to hoof it, that means walk in Gen X speak, to CVS on Mt. Vernon Road to pick up our prescriptions.  As some of you may recall from my past posts, I crashed my car back in September of 2024.  Anyway, winding my way down and back up Bever Road was a total of 3.6 miles roundtrip. During my sojourn, I texted my sister to ask for a ride, but she was knocked down by the flu and never responded back. It's ok, I knew she was sick, but I was hoping against hope she would save me from fatigue and shin splints.  She didn't.  So being the big boy I am, and not a wuss, I continued on my way to the pharmacy and back.

Upon arriving home, I spent the rest of the day painting our bathroom, making fried chicken and rice for dinner, and finally plopping on the couch to write down today's experiences. I'll have a Coke and a couple of cigs later and head off to bed soon.  Well, that's it for now my fellow misfits.  As always, stay sober, stay hopeful, and just get shit done okay. Until tomorrow, hasta la vista baby.

Love, Gabriel.